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News » Saturday Morning Posts >> Quick hits from the sports world Laughter is best medicine

Saturday Morning Posts >> Quick hits from the sports world Laughter is best medicine

Saturday Morning Posts >> Quick hits from the sports world Laughter is best medicine
Inotes ?

Ex-Rocky Mountain News three-dotter Sam "Beerman!" Adams is stepping up his game as a stand-up comedian, finishing in second place in the pro division of last week's Great American Comedy Festival in Norfolk, Neb., Johnny Carson's hometown.

And what did he get for his efforts? Thirty-five hundred bucks, a trophy and an audience (knock on wood) with David Letterman's talent coordinator (knock on more wood).

"I won the amateur field," Adams said. "What I didn't know is they were going to have a guy who didn't show up for the pro contest. So they threw me in there. They had guys with credits from Comedy Central, HBO and Letterman. To be around guys with those credits was a weird feeling. I felt like I was some dude who got called up from the minors. Next thing you know, you're hitting home runs."

That would be the end of the story, except that Adams insisted I give a little love to the other Denver comics in the field. I'd tell you their names were Troy Baxley, Chris Voth, Ryan Lowery and Jeff Wozer, but we don't do shameless career plugs in this column, Mister. ?

Nuggets mover 'n' shaker Mark Warkentien on the team's draft effort: "You hear this 'good draft/bad draft.' ? If your guy ends up being a good player, then you had a good draft." Whew. Glad we got that cleared up. ?

Ty Lawson says he should have been a lottery pick, and the Nuggets agreed. They got him at No. 18 but were talking to five teams that had earlier picks. "He was targeted, no question," Warkentien said. "He had a bull's-eye on his back at 4 o'clock." ?

Random thought while watching Duke's Gerald Henderson go six picks ahead of Lawson: My point guard can beat up your honor student. ?

Biggest surprise in the NBA draft? Pitt's DeJuan Blair going in the second round, apparently out of concern about his bum knees. What part of rebounding machine don't these people get? ?

ESPN's Stuart Scott, moments after the Timberwolves selected Nugget -in-waiting Lawson, their third point guard among three first-round picks: "Well, they'll pass a lot." ?

You're not getting older, bubba, you're getting a lot older. How do we know? Because John Elway turns 49 on Sunday. I was 49 once too. Twice, now that I think of it. ?

By the numbers: Phil Jackson has 10 NBA championships. The rest of the current cast of coaches in The Association has six - four for Gregg Popovich, one apiece for Larry Brown and Doc Rivers. ?

So anyway, here's the drill. Go to King Soopers or Safeway, stop by the freezer section, and buy a bunch of Mark Schlereth's Stinkin'Good Green Chili. Why? Because the Stinkmeister is donating 100 percent of the profits from June 19 through July 4 to the Denver Rescue Mission's Summer of Hope campaign. Says Schlereth: "I know it's summer, but homelessness doesn't go on vacation." ?

The good news is Rox prospect Carlos Gonzalez looks like a player. The bad news is that's all he does. Two facts of life: You can't eat pizza without beer, and you can't play corner outfield if you don't hit. ?

Oh, by the way, Coach J-Mac. Brandon Marshall wanted me to let you know that Greg Jennings, a fellow member of the Draft Class of '06, just got a three-year, $27 million extension from the Packers. ?

Marshall's official reaction to the Jennings deal? That message I left for his agent the other day is the closest I got. No surprise there. I'm still waiting for Bus Cook to call back to see if Jay Cutler and Josh Mac can, you know, work out their differences. ?

Major news out of the Bronx. Those three hits by Johnny Damon the other day raised his batting average (.293) above his fielding percentage. What, you think I'm kidding? They sell Damon T-shirts outside Fenway Park that read: "Looks like Jesus. Acts like Judas. Throws like Mary."

Jim Armstrong: 303-954-1269 or


Five fearless predictions

Cubs catcher Geovany Soto admitted this week that a positive marijuana test during the World Baseball Classic was accurate. Here are five predictions for Soto's future in the aftermath of the story:

5. Bud Selig issues a statement saying: "This office doesn't consider marijuana a performance-enhancing drug. Though, come to think of it, Keith Richards is still alive."

4. Soto reiterates that, while he had a serious lapse in judgment, it was an isolated incident. Soto also claims he has eaten one french fry in his life.

3. The left-field bleacher bums toss joints on the field after Soto's batting average falls below the Mendoza Line.

2. The Cubs' front office issues a statement saying: "Relax, everybody, that really is ivy on the walls."

1. Cubs manager Lou Piniella uproots second base during a tirade against the umps, whereupon the Cubs' grounds crew discovers Soto's stash.


Hawpin' to it. Brad Hawpe, Southpaw Slayer. All right, all right, I admit it. Never thought I'd type those words. A few years ago, I had Hawpe pegged for an everyday player who ought to be platooning because of his struggles against left-handers. No m?s, sports fans. Here's a year-by-year look at some of Hawpe's numbers against lefties:

Year....Batting avg.....Slugging pct.

2004.....154 .....231

2005.....250 .....393

2006.....232 .....435

2007.....214 .....397

2008.....282 .....476

2009.....308 .....600

Author: Fox Sports
Author's Website:
Added: June 30, 2009


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