I beg for help from you:(?

[biansadim]

Im 14-15 years old and i lived lots of bad things.When i was 9 i saw my mom was holding gun to my dad etc...My dad cheated my mom.Both of them hate me.I fail at school so bad.I dont have friends or girlffriend.I lived lots of bad things(i don want to write all of them there) i Forgot smiling.I wish i could forget everything.I wish i was dead.what should i do to be happy?Kill my dad?(I ******* HATE HIM)Kill my mom?Kill myself?Selling soul to satan(not joke)Using drugs?(So i can forget everything)Help me please i dont wanna cry anymore:(Its so hard.This is not another teenager question.Im much more mature than being teenager cause i even saw my best friend murdered 2 year ago.I lived lots of thing.Please someone help me:(
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